I'm a member of a CD forum, which one you'll have to guess for now, as I want to try to maintain a certain anonymity for some folks. Yes, that's laugh. I know it would take all of 5 seconds to figure it out.
There's often a bunch of things said on that forum that grate me and make me wonder just who the heck these people are. In the interest of peace, I usually just hold my tongue. This last week all of them all at once, so I have to say something... and that's not the place.
Yes, it's a rant post... take it as it is. Here goes..
"Back when I was just a CD"
Wow. There's nothing like one part of a group slamming another part of that same group to instil a sense of unity, isn't there? Comments like these do nothing more than create a nice atmosphere of in-fighting amongst the people outside looking in. There's no way that anyone is going to want to blanket support a group that hasn't even figured out how to get along inside itself. What exactly are you trying to accomplish with comments like that? You can say exactly the same phrase without the "just", and it means the exact same thing - but without the obvious "I'm better than you" division. Get over yourself, and join the team.
"Unless they're in cowardly denial"
This is the one that really set me off. It's true that a person that's TS has to be ready to lose everything in order to make the transition. Everything, family, friends, kids, job, cash, the lot. It's not easy, and I'm not making light of the struggles that your average TS goes through. However, to call a person that may or may not be TS, but won't go through transition because of family, friends, kids, and the like cowardly? Denial I can go with, but certainly not cowardly. Let's compare: a person that gives up everything to be themselves vs a person that denies themselves to maintain outside ties with others. Let's simplify that: A person that does for themselves vs a person that does for others. Need it even shorter? How about selfish vs selfless. Cowardice is a trait that is much in common with selfish. It's a bit like suicide really... it's easy to find something worth dying for, but can you find something worth living for? Again, the point can be readily made without the personal attack on a core value.
"I am not a ________"
The whole label debate can be quite irksome. Everyone wants to belong somewhere, and those that don't like this box or that one will make up a box just for themselves. That's great for you. The problem is when you try to work together. I thought we were all trying to gain mainstream acceptance, protection under the law, and a myriad of other benefits that we feel that we're missing out on. The problem is, we can't get that without a united front or voice. We can't accomplish anything with a thousand different voices. What banner are you supporting? Decide it, join up, and belong.
I used to have a tagline making fun of labels. Something about labels being for jars. The point of it was about not getting your panties twisted when someone uses a label for you.
We spend a lot of time complaining that the LGB part of LGBT has mainstream acceptance, and that the T got left behind. Wonder why? It's simple really... focus. No matter how many different kinds of "gay" there is (top, bottom, leathermen, sissies, bois, blah blah blah), they're all, each and everyone - let's hear it now - gay. The same thing goes for the gals. This focus brings media support, and suddenly being gay's not so bad. But the "T"? Where are they? Scattered and dispersed. I've said before that you don't have the responsibility to show your self and be counted. I believe that. But i also believe that you have the responsibility to not prevent that happening.
"Its not fair women can wear pants"
Women usually wear women's pants. Start a line of men's skirts, and get the marketing program going. If you want to fix it, all you have to do is arrange for 3 or 5 million of your friends to all go to work wearing a skirt at the same time. That's how the women did it. Now women's jeans are a multibillion industry. Get in on the ground floor so you can rake it in! Of course, as soon as it's a man's skirt, the fact is you won't want to wear it. Besides, it's life, and it's not meant to be fair. You should have figured that out long before adulthood.
"I'm a non-op TS"
Usually, I can "get" where the poster is coming from, but this one... I just don't. How can you be TS, and choose not to have any surgery options? Isn't a passing hatred of the dangly bits part of the TS makeup? The usual excuses for being "non-op" - money and kids - can eventually go away. Are you going to sign up then? If so, then you're not "non" you're "pre", albeit on a very long waiting list. If not... you might want to re-look that TS thing, and start thinking in terms of another acronym, perhaps one with "A" in it.
That's it... I'm all vented now!
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