The Shame of TG

A friend on G+ posted an article about the shame the transgendered have going through their "unconventional" lives.  She prefaced the article with a comment that she was not ashamed of her journey into womanhood. I commented with, "Why should you be?"  Her reply was that there were so many reasons to be ashamed to be transgendered.

I have to call that one busted.  Either that, or I have to call me busted, and since I think I have the right idea, I am going with the former.  Maybe I am just too apathetic to understand shame, or in denial about it.  You decide, and let me know.

My first foray into realising my gender nonconformity was with makeup.  I didn't start with sneaking panties, as you read about so much.  I wanted to be pretty,so I started extending my bathroom trips to use moms makeup.  To the best I can recall, I hid that away, not because I was trying makeup, but because i was using someone else's.  I was bothered about using moms stuff.  I guess CD rule number 2 was already firmly established!  One night, I woke up.  I went to the washroom, and decided to do a little practice run.  My brother came in and got all annoyed at me and scrubbed my face down.  I knew he was upset I had my face painted, but whatever lesson I took from that experience, my not supposed to be using makeup wasn't it.

How do I feel then on the shame issue!?

Shame and pride aren't mutually exclusive. You aren't ashamed of being tg just because you don't go out of your way to advertise it.  Compassion for the feelings of others isn't shame.   You are who you are - and for many this is a pretty personal thing.  If it's personal, it's not shame to keep it to yourself.   You don't fit societies mold - well shame on society for creating something they can't accept - but no shame on you, it's not like you could turn it off.

Full time dreams?

I had an opportunity to take my CDing to the next level recently.  A perfect storm of long weekend, vacationing family, and desire all occurred at the same time in the early part of August.  My long weekend lasted from Wednesday to Monday night, and I spent all of it en femme.  I had a list of things to scratch off the CD bucket list, and this was going to be the time to get rid of much of it.

Wednesday, I went out to dinner with some of the local gals.  Not an unusual activity for me at all - but usually we're out at a known T friendly establishment.  This night, just a run of the mill place that none of us had ever been to before.  

I ended up having to be at work on Thursday after all.  It was the local groups usual meeting day, and I decided to go all out.  I started off by stopping on the way home from work at the local nail salon to get some talons.  I went crazy with a full set of acrylics and painted them up to go with what I wanted to wear that night.  It had been a long time since I had long nails - and I have to say, the keys on the phones have gotten a lot smaller than they used to be!  Still, it didn't take long to remember to not grab anything the wrong way!  I took quite a bit of extra time today, both because I really wanted to knock 'em dead and also because I had the time to spend.  Everything was fine until I put on the top I wanted to wear, and it just didn't do anything for me.  Back to the closet for something else that would work.  Good thing there's lots of things there!  The meet was a total blast, and I ended up staying until close, and then some.  Back home to wash it all off, slip into a nightie and hit the sack.  After tylenol and water.

Friday was a new day.  I got up, got dressed in some casual wear and attacked my household to-do list.  I usually don't look forward to turning my face into mince with the shaving - and the laser has made that so much better - but this time, not a worry.  I had a tee time for 18 later in the day with a couple gals from the group.  I got to the course all ready to go.  I hadn't swung a club in over a year, and never while - shall we say off-balance?  This was shaping up to be an interesting day.  The course marshal stopped by frequently to chat, and at one point asked if the fellows (it was 2 guys and 2 gals in our 4) were making me play from the blues.  Passing or not, comments like that make a gals day!  It was a late time, and I stopped to pickup some takeout on the way home, and figured out what I was going to do the next day.  I decided to take a dip in the hot tub, and had a new suit just for such an occasion.  Very enjoyable, and another night sleeping right.

Saturday started very similar to Friday.  Got up and dressed.  Yard word, cleaning up, laundry, all the usual aspects of living in a house - but taken care of as my alternate self.   At some point I decided to go out, and it was so good to just grab the purse and go.

Sunday was time to lose the nails, so I got up and got ready to go out.  I decided I was going to use as little makeup as possible to go out, and was happy that I only ended up using about half of the foundation I normally use and still managed to cover up what needed covering.  After 4 days of eyeliner day and night, that went on faster than I ever thought possible.  Practice really does help - and continual practice moreso!  It takes longer to remove acrylics than it does to have them put on - and so I was sitting with my hands soaking in whatever it was for an hour or so while the gals were taking care of a stream of ladies coming in and out.  It was nice to not get a second glance.  The rest of the day degenerated into lazy lounging around.

Monday was the end of the mini holiday, but nothing was put away, buried, hidden, or anything.  Just another causal day.  I decided to just enjoy my new found freedom at coming and going, and did just that - came and went as much as possible.  Groceries, more house work, and a little work-from-home to keep the billed hours up.  A day en femme of total normality.  Just the perfect end to a weekend of adventure.

The Great Bathroom Debate

This seems to be a little contentious, I think.

As I understand it, the bathroom laws are being looked at to allow TG folks to use the washroom of their presented gender without harassment.  This is most flexible for crossdressers, a must have for pre-op TS's, and shouldn't even be a question for post-op TS's.

Start easy, and making use of the MtF:  Post-op TS's aren't TS's.  They WERE TS.  They ARE women.  Women use the women's washroom.

On to the less obvious things.  To me, the entire foray of fearmongering is the perception that in "allowing" men to use the women's washroom, there will be assaults on women and children.

I haven't seen the most obvious counter argument on the 'net yet.  That is, without this law, there are ALREADY assaults taking place in the women's washroom.  This law isn't going to CREATE that, it's already there.  A person that will want to assault a woman in the women's washroom is going to do it regardless.  To my knowledge, there is no law right now saying a man cannot enter the women's washroom.  There are, however, laws saying that you can't assault, hurt, or otherwise abuse another person.  This proposed bathroom law isn't going to remove those crimes from the code, nor is it going to be allowed as an excuse, so what's the big deal?