Monday, August 27, 2012

The Shame of TG

A friend on G+ posted an article about the shame the transgendered have going through their "unconventional" lives.  She prefaced the article with a comment that she was not ashamed of her journey into womanhood. I commented with, "Why should you be?"  Her reply was that there were so many reasons to be ashamed to be transgendered.

I have to call that one busted.  Either that, or I have to call me busted, and since I think I have the right idea, I am going with the former.  Maybe I am just too apathetic to understand shame, or in denial about it.  You decide, and let me know.

My first foray into realising my gender nonconformity was with makeup.  I didn't start with sneaking panties, as you read about so much.  I wanted to be pretty,so I started extending my bathroom trips to use moms makeup.  To the best I can recall, I hid that away, not because I was trying makeup, but because i was using someone else's.  I was bothered about using moms stuff.  I guess CD rule number 2 was already firmly established!  One night, I woke up.  I went to the washroom, and decided to do a little practice run.  My brother came in and got all annoyed at me and scrubbed my face down.  I knew he was upset I had my face painted, but whatever lesson I took from that experience, my not supposed to be using makeup wasn't it.

How do I feel then on the shame issue!?

Shame and pride aren't mutually exclusive. You aren't ashamed of being tg just because you don't go out of your way to advertise it.  Compassion for the feelings of others isn't shame.   You are who you are - and for many this is a pretty personal thing.  If it's personal, it's not shame to keep it to yourself.   You don't fit societies mold - well shame on society for creating something they can't accept - but no shame on you, it's not like you could turn it off.

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